Justin Amirkhani

Tonight I’m starting my annual journey to Boston to cover PAX East for my usual outlets, but these shows are about so much more than just seeing new games and scoring interviews. I like to come up with a personal list of goals every time I go down. These aren’t necessarily related to the stuff I want to play or booths I want to check out, but they’re just as important to me.

Unlike a lot of the conventions through the year, PAX is an opportunity to experience the social side of the gaming community and I feel it’s really important to make time for them amidst the heavy appointment schedule. This year, there’s a few people I want to meet, a few I want to reconnect with, and at least one really silly personal fantasy I’m looking to fulfil. Without further ado, my personal mission checklist for a successful PAX East 2012.

1 ) Make Nice With @Chupacaubrey

For those who don’t remember my infamous Two Worlds II review for C&G Monthly, let’s suffice it to say that an amount of professional courtesy and general decency was lost in the fallout of my rather negative scoring. I won’t debate the methods of the review, or justify the tailspin of trolling and general ill-will that brewed between the universally adored PR rep who handled the game, but the loss of her charming emails has left my inbox a little sadder ever since. I’d really like to patch things up, get a handshake and hopefully have my daily cat picture quotient increase by getting back on her press list.

2 ) Play Baba O’Riley Drunk With Harmonix

I don’t need anyone specific, but the idea of playing my favourite song by The Who with some of the folks behind my favourite music game just sounds too good to pass up. I’m totally willing to let the world suffer a terrible, drunken performance if it means I can make this rockstar dream of mine happen. @Johntdrake, you listening?

3 ) Thank My Editors In Person

I’ve had a great year freelancing for a lot of people and living all the way up in the frigid north, I don’t often get a chance to see the people that make my work sparkly shine enough for publishing. I owe each and every one of my editors a debt of gratitude, not just for making it possible for me to have an audience, but also for being such delightful people to work with. I’ll be hunting them down, one by one, to express my sincere appreciation for them taking a chance on me.

4 ) Fistbump My Podcasting Homies

Every single one of the shows I’ve done has been an absolute blast. Yes, I am including that show with that guy in this list. Though I haven’t done an episode of anything in a season, I would still love to express some brotherly solidarity for all the folks who I’ve recorded with, and all those I’ve listened to. Podcasting’s fun, but it’s a lot of work and more often than not folks don’t get the proper appreciation for filling thousands of earholes with free entertainment week after week. Each and every one of the hosts I adore will be getting a rock solid fistbump.

5 ) Get A Picture With @HipHopGamer’s Championship Belt

For all the times I’ve met the undisputed heavyweight champion of the enthusiast (and I mean enthusiast) press, I’ve never had a picture taken holding Gerard’s iconic belt. This needs to be fixed as soon as possible. Cameraphone will be at the ready and when I see that fabulously energetic dude, I will finally have documented evidence of our friendship. Real talk.

6 ) Sleep In A Bed At Least Once

I have a really bad habit of roughing it at pretty much every convention I go to for the sake of getting my articles done. After a day on the floor and a night at whatever party I usually make it back to the my over-occupied hotel room (cost effectiveness ftw) and find myself a corner of the floor to sleep on. It’s never affected my ability to cover the show the next day, but I’ve always been curious what a good night’s sleep would do for my energy levels. Apologies to anyone that wakes up with me cuddling them in pursuit of this goal (I’m looking at you @ubersully).

7 ) Get Publishing Advice From @OneOfSwords

Having put an incredible journalism career behind him (for now), Dan Amrich is a personal idol of mine. With his recent book showing me that journalists can make transition into self-publishing things other than articles, I want to tap his brain and leech out all his best secrets on how to get it done right. I’ve got my own books in the works and I’m looking for all the protips I can get and hopefully he’ll be willing to pay a little good will forward with some sage wisdom.

8 ) Avoid Making Babies Cry

Every year when I go to Boston, I make it a point to spend a dinner or lunch with a close family friend. For the past 2 years, I’ve made their darling child cry the second he entered my arms. With a new baby recently delivered I feel a new hope that I’ll be able to bond with the child without him screaming for his parents. It’s a lofty goal, since both children and dogs look at me like I’m the anti-christ, but here’s hoping the kid’s a little more receptive to my awkward embrace.

9 ) Give Away My Swag Before I Leave

Every year my bag fills up with the most bizarre/cute/odd/useless trinkets every to be branded by marketing companies. I’m not against swag, but I generally try to get rid of this stuff every year when I return home. In the months following a trip to PAX I’ll awkwardly force my friends and family to take the stuff off my hands before they’re allowed to leave my apartment. This year, I’d like to return with as little of the stuff as possible. If you see me on the floor, just ask and I’m sure I’ll give you something.

10 ) Eat Some Local Food

I love Maine-area cuisine and the show rarely affords me the time to get a decent meal. I’m making it a point to have a delicious cup of chowder before I leave.

Back in the early parts of winter 2005 I was in high school and starting to get more and more drawn into the video game subculture. I’d always played games and enjoyed them, but I had never interacted with the community that surrounds games at large. There were friends I’d play with regularly, but it was a small group that existed in between the rest of life; video games were not yet a defining element of my social and professional life.

At the time, Microsoft was preparing for the launch of the Xbox 360 and social media was beginning to take shape. After the success of the ilovebees alternate-reality game for Halo 2′s launch, the marketing folks started experimenting with something similar for the console launch. Messages were sent out to be decoded into GPS coordinates where folks could go and find invites to a hidden storefront where the system would be playable well before release.

I don’t remember exactly how I came across them, but after deciphering the messages and finding the location I forced my dad to pack my brother and I in the car and head downtown. We parked just outside the Much Music building and started looking scanning the area for clues to where the invites were hidden. While my brother and I froze our fingers looking at every sign, billboard and scrap paper at the intersection, my father — who’s much more clever than I — simply walked up to the nearest homeless man and asked him.

It turns out the legless beggar sitting outside the convenience store on the north-east corner didn’t have too many places to go and had watched the whole thing unfold as the Microsoft folk came, hid their tickets and people came looking. None of the dozen or so people he saw looking all over the place had thought to ask him, which once again goes to show how much smarter my dad is than the average bear. He pointed out exactly where we should go and he was spot on. We gave him a little something for his trouble and headed on our merry way.

The invite got me into the storefront, where they had tournaments playing Perfect Dark Zero. While I’ll never be the best at a game once it’s released, I have an incredible knack for picking up mechanics very quickly which has always given me an advantage when I’m facing people in a new game. With the scoreboard dominated, I won some swag and an invite to the official launch party which would be the gateway drug to my current professional career.

You can look at life and blame a million things for any one outcome if you want to go back far enough, but it’s surprising how many times my personal history has been punctuated with odd anecdotes. Sure, there were plenty of other factors involved in how that story ended, but it’s perplexing and a little humbling to think that without that legless homeless man I might not be the video game journalist I am today.

Writing a reviews all the time it can be easy to fall into a dulldrum pattern where things start to blur and everything you write sounds the same. Once in a while it’s good to break things up by doing something different, but my most recent attempt at this resulted in a really clever but really weird review of Ms. Splosion Man. As a piece written more for people that had already played the game than those looking for a synopsis or explanation of if it was good, my editors naturally rejected it.

However, I didn’t want it to die and after showing it to the guys at Twisted Pixel they thought it deserved to be published and threw it up on their blog. It’s not perfect but it’s a fun, metaphor-riddled dissection of this year’s best XBLA platformer.

I walked into the coffee shop with no idea what to expect. Usually I’m not the type of guy who’s willing to go on a blind date, but it had been an uncharacteristically dry summer and I was desperate for a hook-up. Plus, it wasn’t really all that blind; I’d met her brother a few years back and we got along well, plus all my friends insisted she’d be just my type.

As I stepped past the shop’s counter – stocked with their almost universally adored doughnuts—my eyes scanned the room looking for my woman in a yellow bow. She was sitting in the back, flipping through a magazine (Vogue or Cosmo, I think) and sipping an espresso. I took a moment to steel myself and went over for to introduce myself.

Now, at this point I failed to notice the stockpile of empty cups stowed in the corner of the table. This woman wasn’t casually drinking the espressos, she was pounding them back. Again, I wasn’t paying enough attention to get a good count on just how many she’d finished before I arrived, but the small mountain of cups in my hazy memory was certainly big enough to justify what happened next.

Without pause for breath, a handshake, or hello, my pink-clad date dove out of the booth and assaulted me with a full-force, full-body hug. I’d gone out with affectionate girls before, but there was something about this reception that just felt so warm and inviting. It was immediately clear she wasn’t interested in tiptoeing around the usual conversation barriers and I was more than okay with that, nobody likes waiting through drawn-out introductions.

We sat down in the booth and the waiter, a hefty bearded fellow, came over to take our orders. Wanting to impress her, I reined-in my usually piggish eating habits and ordered a chicken salad sandwich; she ordered an entire honey-baked ham.Now, chicken salad sandwiches are a fine food, but they’re a little predictable. Nobody expects a honey-baked ham. I was caught off guard with her lack of convention but not offended. In fact, it was kind of awesome to finally meet a girl who wasn’t going to compromise satisfaction for composure.

That’s not to say she wasn’t well put together though; she clearly knew how to dress herself and whoever picked out her lightly colored outfit knew what they were doing. Bright colors played well with the diner’s lighting making her a magnet for every wandering eye in the place. Her odd choice of meal didn’t help obscure her any either.

As she dove into her giant slab of meat I couldn’t help but look down at my chicken salad sandwich and wonder why we didn’t all order honey-baked hams all the time. Watching her pound forkful after forkful into her mouth it became obvious that she was here exclusively to have fun and that was instantly endearing. Noticing I’d barely touched my suddenly inadequate sandwich, she pushed her plate into the middle of the table and let me share her fork. In my experience, sharing food can be a tricky proposition requiring a delicate dance of co-operation and can fall apart if either party gets greedy. There was none of that here though; she made it really easy for both of us to have a good time sharing, which made me fall for her even more.

We finished eating and I suggested we take a trip down the boardwalk together and talk; up to this point we’d barely had any conversation. She agreed but headed into the washroom to get refreshed, which took long enough for me to begrudge her a bit for delaying the date. Of course, women naturally take forever getting ready for anything and she probably wasn’t any different, but we were having such a good time the absence was distracting.

Pacing down the street together we started chatting casually about movie stars and music, but before long she ramped up the complexity of our exchange exponentially. Her references started getting more obscure and challenging to follow, before moving into high-brow comments on feminism and the nature of woman. I was quickly tossed out of my league but I desperately wanted to keep up because we’d clicked so well at the beginning.

She was clearly a woman with conflicting views; one minute she was spouting boy-crazed confessions, and the next she had the forceful convictions of Rosie the Riveter. I had to carefully time myself at every juncture just to keep things going, making for one of the most frenetic and elaborate conversations I’ve ever had on a date like this. She was complex and detailed, lacking the vapidity but not the buoyancy of more shallow women I’d dated. I had fallen for her.

All good things come to an end though, and I thought about just how much I’d enjoyed myself on our little outing and how much I’d like to see her again.

We walked back to her home, and stood on the porch to say goodbye. Looking into her big beautiful eyes I contemplated for a moment spending the rest of my life with this woman and I tried my best to muster up the courage to ask her out again. Before the words could even escape my lips she dove at me for another hug. Losing myself in her warm embrace I knew she was the one.

Then she kissed my cheek and exploded… I did not survive.

I don’t often buy music, but there’s something undeniably convenient about the way bandcamp.com does business. I’ve found a couple great albums I absolutely love through the service and I’ve never hesitated purchasing because the money goes right to the artists. Among the albums I’ve purchased, there have been a few video game soundtracks that I’d like to take a moment and highlight for you.

Ska Studios Collection

In addition to being a talented artist/programmer, one-man wrecking crew James Silva is also a wicked-talented musician. Doing the scores for all of his Xbox Live Arcade and Xbox Live Indie games, he’s produced some tracks that rock far more than your typical indie background music.

While my personal favourite is the Vampire Smile: Missing Solos album, Silva’s probably most recognized for I MAED A GAME3 W1TH Z0MBIES 1N IT!!!1. Most of his songs are dirty, electric and energetic but Z0MBIES takes the cake with the over-the-top vocals.

Like a good starving artist, all the albums are pay-what-you-want, including the high-quality FLAC and AAC files.

dB Soundworks

In the indie game scene it’s hard to find someone with a better track record than Danny Baronowsky. Producing soundtracks for games like Super Meat Boy, Gravity Hook, and Canabalt — all games that were made by their scores — Danny B has earned his place amongst the indie-gaming elite.

There’s something so complimentary about dB Soundworks’ high-energy tracks that just make their games so much better. Would Canabalt really be the same without it’s futuristic, frenetic theme music? I don’t think so. Almost every thing this guy produces is pure gold and well worth a listen.

If awesome game soundtracks aren’t your thing, Danny also has a chiptunes remake of Rebecca Black’s Friday. Naturally, it’s available for free like (almost) everything else he’s produced.

Jim Guthrie – Sword & Sworcery

Mystical, magical and a little classical, Jim Guthrie’s Toronto-produced Sword & Sworcery LP – The Ballad of the Space Babies is a perfect musical companion to the iOS game of the same name. It’s equal parts entrancing and relaxing but never loses it’s epic adventure undercurrent.

There are few game soundtracks designed to coincide with it’s playable counterpart a well as Sword & Sworcery does. Each track plays a pivotal role in the game and being able to listen and re-listen to the MP3s broadens an appreciation for the work. These are detailed tracks with a lot of love put in them.

In addition to the $7.99 digital album, Guthrie offers a real-life physical 12″ vinyl edition for $30. It comes with a limited edition print of the game’s fantastic pixel art and will be releasing near the end of the month (May 2011).